Photographic Memories

Day: December/10

Eating: nothing, and I'm not hungry

Listening To: Sanctuary by The Outsyder

Mood: hyperness FTW!!

I'm back in business peoples!! Yeah, I know, it's been forever, please don't kill me for not coming back to blog often, but, you get what you get when you go to school, and when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And what a ride it's been, these past three or so months.

Holy, I can't even describe how things have changed, more for the better than for the worse.

I've finally gotten over one of the guys (not fully, but almost). That's a huge improvement, since I won't end up hurting myself in the end, or rather, him hurting me. And as Christmas and the last day of school before the holidays approaches I want to do something for the other guy, the guy I truly like. Just something special, to make him remember me, even if we don't see each other in high school.

There's really not that much more to say due to my hperness overload so I won't ring off your ears, just gonna go chillax a bit and gather up with ideas and thoughts. Oh, I've come up with a few improvements on my book and quite a number of things have happened to me over in the Sanctuary, but for my 'back in busness' post, this should be good enough, no overlading.

Looks like finally, just maybe, life will take a turn. And I hope it's gonna bring me more happiness than sorrow, and if I cry, they won't be saddness but relief. If all my memories could be caught in a jar right now it would be overflowing to the brim, with my memories, both of pain and laughter, of things I'd never want to let go of.

~M

Twin Breeze

Day: October 8/10

Eating: drinking a cup of tea

Listening To: Dance Inside by The All-American Rejects

Mood: probably none - just floating around in the clouds

Oh. My. GOD. I swear school is gonna kill me. So much to do, so little time. Or is it just me being so lazy? Either way I'm gonna die if I keep going at this pace, qnd it only gets worse in high school. So looks like I gotta pick it up.

I've been terrorized by a handful of people lately and it's beginning to take another tole on me. Sure I like anime and manga, yes I like ball jointed dolls, and yeah I made up a story to one of my friend that I was a 'witch' but that's the way I am - I care about my doll family so much and I just love making up stories like that. So guess what - just go tell someone else that shit, someone who'll actually buy it. Cause here, right now, I'm bulletproof, and you can't get any dirt on me.

Speaking of my doll life, I actually got promoted to Season Spirit of November - Luna! I'm so happy. I actually think that the month of November fits me better than the month of January, which had been my original hope for a rank. Autumn is more of my season, the cool breezes, the medium temperature, crisp appleas and walking in the gentle winds through the park while the leaves brush the path clean of all your footsteps.

Yes, I am the wind blowing life into the world in this month. It's my wings that carry the winds upon them.

I'm ever so grateful the Council and Mi-chama had decided to promote me. Now I'll work harder than ever to continue making the Sanctuary a wonderful place. Being on a Semi-Hiatus is never an excuse.

~M

Obscure Tears

Day: September 23/10

Eating: drinking a cup of tea

Listening To: Arabesque by Rurutia

Mood: drifting, half and half

Gosh I've been so out of blogging lately...=_=

Truth is I've been so caught up with things that I can't even spend a little time to focus on my blog that I've been so attached to. Heck it's the same thing with almost everything that I've cared about - it just feels like I've lost my touch.

School is going by well for the most part, though the pirannah has been acting up a little bit recently, thinking she's so cool and yelling a mocking 'Hi!' out from the school bus window. How I wish her tongue was twisted into knots so she'd leave me alone. How do you get it into people's brains - I. Don't. Want. To. Know. You. That's it. DIDDO. And even if you tell me you hate me too you still continue to whisper behind my back and pay so much attention to me. So I'm not gonna waste any more energy on her. If I have to I'll teach her a fir lesson and go straight up to my teacher but maybe I'll teach her in my own method.

Everything really feels the same and at moments a little obscure, at least for me. I wonder why I have been feeling so confused deep inside, why I can't decide between people, between what I want and what I don't, who I don't like and who I do.

I still wish sometimes that i could cry everything out, just everything that's been building up in me all these years. It's useless, walking around half dead like I've been for so long. I'm stuck between hapinness and sorrow, etween light and dark. What use is it to be a half when you're not complete, when you can't feel alive?

~M

White Iris

Day: September 14/10

Eating: layered waffer cake

Listening To: The Only Exception by Paramore

Mood: light, free, careless

This little blizzard inside of me is suddenly and surprisingly growing into a pleasant feeling. I never though something that began as something so depressing could turn into something so free, so pleasant. I've been in the midst of many fights lately, most among my friends or those people who aren't in my class but I still look over at, and I've been feeling isolated because of that. I mean my best friend is trying to keep a stalker jerk away from her while another friend of mine is hanging around that same stalker jerk. My crush hasn't been noticing me and rumours have slowly been drifting around about me again. But even amongst this seemingly lonely blizzard I'm feeling safe right now, safely guarded from everything and everyone.

I would give everything though, to see two people, two people I hold dear. One whom I have not yet met, but I feel his presence, that sweet smell that lingers lately, and a gentle breeze that passes by like a hushed voice; the one I am destined to meet. The other is one whom I should have forgotten, but hold dear within me. He is still by my side no matter how often I feel that he has left me, my first ever childish love, a memory that still lingers in my mind. It's these two that seperate my roads and make me wonder of how life will change. Yes there are others who I care about, like my close friend, my crush, and others, classmates of mine, but I can't help but feel ties to these two.

Ah, how twisted life is. But I've met so many wonderful people, especially the dolls, who help me see every day that even when I think that life has taken a turn for the worst, it's not fully dark until I give up on everything. I'm grateful to these people, even though I've said this thousands of times I still feel like I haven't said it enough.

It's one day though that I'll have the strength to stand on my own and let everything sink into me. But until that day comes I'll still rely on those people I know. Becoming a doll has showed me how life could be for me, and I met new people I wouldn't have met on the other side of this globe. My classmates, my friends, even my enemies - who, though I hate, still teach me things - ar blocks of my life. It's like they say, you can't rush to make a jigsaw puzzle until you have all the pieces. I won't rush with mine and take it a step at a time so everything could take it's turn.

'Life's not measured by the number of breaths you take,

but the number of moments that take your breath away'

~M

House of Cards

Day: September 11/10

Eating: cocoa wafer rolls

Listening To: Remedy by Little Boots
Mood: forgotten, curious

Ah, I think I'm beginning to slowly feel better. Not fully of course but just a little bit. How I hate drawing title pages lately though, and just my luck - I have 3 of them to do: one for Geography, another for Science and another for History. I wish I had a sudden slam of an idea hit me so that I could get the whole assignment over with.

On a brighter note.....KH BIRTH BY SLEEP IS OUT FOR ALMOST A WEEK 8D Lol, call me a fan but I'm growing addicted to the series. I really wanna get it - so far it's #1 on my Video Games list which I wanna get. I heard already that it's like no other game from the series and that makes me feel all hyper excited already. Of course, it does cost quite a bit so I gotta save up money...=_=

And I've officially applied to try becoming a Gem in the Sanctuary. Sure gonna be something cause I need an approval from all the current Gems and four of the Doll Council members, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it - as long as I try my best I shouldn't be disappointed because I know I gave it everything I've got.

What else should I mention...? Um, I dunno. I'm looking forward to this grade 8 year though, because of the Me To We, grad board, grad year book, and the Idol Talent Show we're holding. Gotta muster up my courage this year and audition - I think I've found the perfect song to sing. I plan to sing Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri so that means I've gotta perfect it soon since the talent show will most likely be between Christmas and February, and in my opinion winter is the perfect place to hold a talent show. Right now though I wanna enjoy myself a little bit, go listen to some more music and maybe write a little bit of my book.

~M

Staircase to Heaven

Day: September 9/10

Eating: cherry strudel

Listening To: Halo by Beyonce

Mood: broken down

Honestly I don't even know what to feel anymore. Don't get me wrong - I'm not going emo or anything but the faster my brain is rushing on things, like it is lately, the faster I run out of juice. Things so aren't going easy, that I know for sure. Grade 8 has proven to be a greater challenge than I had thought it was, and in a number of points I underestimated it.

I've managed to regain my confidence when I look at who are concidered the 'popular people' because right now, I don't feel that I'm, if that much worse, that different from them, particularly one girl who I always worry about and try comparing myself to (let's see how good you are at guessing this Sof ^^). But now I don't really think that way. I see myself as different from everyone, yes, but in some aspects uncomparable. So it hasn't been bothering me so strongly as before.

The greatest problem is however is the emotional rollercoaster that's been going on non-stop these past few days since I've come to school. Okay, seriously, can someone calm that guy down!? He's not acting normal I swear. If he puts another toe in the same direction he's been heading for the past while then I wish him luck surviving my anger, cause I'll tell him off for two years, and trust me, that's a lot of ranting!

On the bright side I'm feeling a little easier in regards to my feelings. Looks like my emotions for my crush have frozen down a little so I've maintained a basicly calm nature lately, which is good. The other guy....well I'm calm about him too. I don't wanna have any feelings for either of them stirring up before the next coming dance. That's when I normally become soft and nerve wrecked.

And now I'm off to have another cup of warm orange peacoy tea that will officially calm down my thoughts and hopefully tomorrow will follow in another one of the peaceful patterns I've been having lately. I'm not in the mood for much adventure lately, so let's hope it's avoided.

~M

Dissintigrated Angels

Day: September 7/10

Eating: sugar glazed puff pastries

Listening To: When I Look at You by Miley Cyrus

Mood: ......wth....?

Okay....so, like I promised, here's an update on my first day back at school. But to be honest, right now, I can't sort out my own feelings. If someone can unjamble my thoughts, kindly do so. I don't feel like myself right now, so therefore I won't be talking about my first day of school in the sense of who I have in my class and what class I'm in - my emotions are more important than that - what I feel, what I think.

Right now though I just wanna breathe it all out cause you know what, I think I've found the problem. Him, and...him.....the two 'him's are beginning to slowly rot my brain. Sof, if you're reading this don't try to understand, cause I don't know myself. It's just so messed.

I feel trapped right now, like someone capped a top over my life and I'm sliding around in a bottle. I got seperated from him as we're now in seperate classes, but just when I thought I'd stop liking anyone I looked at the other him. Why is it that my feelings are frozen one moment and melting the other? Why? Why is everything so wrong? I'm not supposed to like him. It's not love, it shouldn't be even like, but I still feel something for him. What is wrong with me...He's stuck in my mind now.

*slams head on the desk* Grr this ain't normal. I curse you both - you're the only two guys who have ever stolen my sanity and made me gasp for breath every single moment. Is this what living is like? I feel like a fallen angel around you two, so helpless yet hopeful. Nothing calms me down anymore but being around you both. Even through all those insults you might give me or cold jokes...why? I don't know what to do. I'm not meant to feel like this, to feel so attached. I've never felt human but this....

*sighs* Just let my brain take a rest, listen to some more music. Maybe that'll calm me down and I'll see what tomorrow brings. Hopefully my sanity will return so I won't crumple in my own hands. Let the night breeze sweep the thoughts clean.

~M

Endless Nocturne

Day: September 6/10

Eating: nothing, but that doesn't matter - nothing will go down my throat willingly
Listening To: Release of the Far West Ocean by Falcom Sound Team

Mood: nervous as hell, and I wanna turn inside out in my skin

Okay, so like I said - last blog entry of the summer. *sighs* Gotta take a deep breath cause right now I'm shakin like a dog. This always happens before the first day back - curse my weak nerves!

So, I didn't get much done today. Okay....I did nothing. Just played some video games and that's about all. Still have to pack a few things for tomorrow. Right now though my brain is rushing by so fast that I can't even concentrate on one thought.

I hope to do a lot of things this year at school, mainly to change the way people see me. I'm tiered that I always allow myself to be tricked or used by people even though I know of the consiquences. I'm naturally weak inside and don't fight back. Also, as surprising as it sounds, I wanna try getting over my crush. Yeah, you heard me. Not that there's anything wrong with him, I just don't wanna get too...attached....after all I'll most likely not see him in high school.

Other than my normal hopes and plans there's nothing much more. Just hope this coming year will be more or less a good one without anything I'll regret. All i gotta do now is calm down my nerves and get some sleep for tomorrow.

~M

Waning Paradise

Day: September 3/10 Eating: milk chocolate waffers

Listening To: Hello Seattle by Owl City

Mood: refreshed, hopeful

I've been feeling refreshed from yesterday's facial I got at Yves Rocher. It's a good thing I went to talk to a professional cause all this acne was honestly getting out of hand and my pores were about as clogged as ever. Of course I'm not exactly the type of person to get a facial so I wasn't used to it but it was fun, I'm planning on going there every month or so, maybe a few weeks if my face gets too dirty.

Anyways, DS is closed again for monthly maintanance and this is my last weekend before school. Not exactly looking forward to seeing everyone again but I'm not dieing of horror either. It's just a...meh...neutral feeling I guess. It's gonna be boring most of the time anyways - at least I have some new books to kill some time with there. Plus class orientation is always such a pain since there's a whole number of people I don't wanna be in the same class with.

So this I guess means that starting from Tuesday I'll be going Semi Hiatus, to all the dolls out there. I'll be sure to get online as much as I can since I just can't seem to stay away from everyone, but my school work and application to high school will be taking more time away from me. And since my Doll Family is growing I'll be sure to spend more and more time talking to everyone. Twinnie hasn't been online so much though - I really miss her....

Then I guess I'll be going for now, but expect a post on Monday cause it'll be my final post of the summer and my official thoughts about my whole vacation. I always do it for the past two years - looking over what I've done over the summer, what I hope to do/feel at school, and since I'm graduating next year in June then what I want to do with everyone before I graduate (that includes punishing some naughty boys). But till then, I'm gonna go catch some of the last summer's rays.

~M

Forgotten Wonderland

Day: August 30/10 Eating: milk chocolate

Listening To: Dance Inside by The All-American Rejects

Mood: creative, hopeless, forgotten

I wish I could be Alice right now and take a leap through that rabbit hole and into Wonderland, but unlike her, I bet you I'd never come out of there, not even for all the money in the world.

It's my last. week. of. summer. That already spells out 'drama' in more than a dozen ways. Not that I miss summer too much - it would be nice to get back to school and stuff some more knowledge into my head.

I've actually been pretty bored latly. If I could, I'd crawl into one of my favourite animes and just live in there for the rest of my life but sadly, I can't do that. It's painful living every day in such a reality where you hate everything you're doing. But that's life, and you gotta pick up the slack to it.

So what else...? I don't know. I just feel like I'm suffocating again. It's not like I wanna leave this world but living in it doesn't bring too uch happiness. Believe me, I'm super far from being an emo child but how can I say this, I look at life for what it is, not the sugar coated trash people try to shove under my nose. That's what makes me sick of life. All I can rely on is a better future where fences won't stop me from reaching my heights.

Now all that's left is to enjoy this last week of summer, cause next Tuesday it's school again and I'll be seeing everyone around. At least this summer I was able to find a solitude, a little paradise where I could be safely hidden awaywithout worrying about people coming after me and ruining that dream.

I really got out of blogging lately but I think once school starts this blog will liven up a little with all my talking about school and how constantly I'm being harassed. Haha, it's gonna be a normal life again.....yuppie.....baka baka classmates....

~M

Crystal Voices

Day: August 22/10

Eating: nothing - my throat just won't allow it

Listening To: Sanctuary by Utada

Mood: SICK! And from now on, that counts as a mood!

How I hate being sick....I always feel really really REALLY messed up. My nose is stuffy, my throat feels abnormal when I swallow, ah I just wish everything was back to normal...

Not really much to do when you're sick. I mean, I've been practically napping all day and just reading some books. Today the weather's been gloomy too - misty and humid the whole dang day. When will this weather end? I mean of course this is better than a hot summer but still, it's getting a little out of hand.

Hum, what else...? Well i've been looking around the Sanctuary again. Things there are good like normal, so I can't complain. Haven't seen my twin in a while on there, or even talked to her.

Well I think that about covers it. A surprisingly short entry for once. And on a side note, it's already the end of August, and school starts up again soon (which is both good and bad). Hoping for a good school year where I can finally feel normal again.

~M

Crystal Wings

Day: August 19, 2010

Eating: nothing, but frankly, I'm not craving anything either

Listening To: Lost Butterfly by Rurutia

Mood: sooo.....happy.....TT^TT

I HAVE RETURNED MY NORMAL POST EDITOR BACK! *Hallelujah song plays in the background* My stupid blog marked it under 'Old Post Editor' so I changed the settings to the old post editor and now I can finally edit my posts normally again....*tearing up* Ah, that makes me so happy...Let's just hope nothing more crashes on me or that I won't lose the current post editor *hugs it* Mine, you hear me Blogger team peoples, MINE! Take it away and my whole blogging experience will crash!

Ah, no more screwed up spacing, or, or...Ah, it's so good to have you back...

Ahem, so now that my happy phras is over and done with I can get onto some bigger news....I GOT A CELLPHONE!!! *does a happy dance* Hehe, now I can be more independant and whenever mom and I have to go shopping I'll have it to call dad instead of worrying and wondering when he'll pick us up. I like it. Even though it's not one of those new ones with the slide out keyboard made especially for texting I still like it. It's easy to carry and handle.

Hum, what else has happened to me so far...? Well I've been watching more animes and picked up some new mangas. Too many books on hold at the library for me, 95% of which are mangas. LOL, what can I say, I'm a heavy reader.

Haven't made much progress on my book though. That's upsetting me cause I've been wanting to work super hard on it all summer. I had a few more mental images from the book in my head though, but I still can't get to putting it down on paper. What can I say, I'm hell lazy at times.

Everything else has been rather quiet around the Sanctuary. It's almost 2 months since I've been there. Ah, time sure flies. I've been talking a lot to everyone around there, and things have been rather fun. Hope I still can spend time over there when I start school - it'll one heck of a chaos next year after all.

Speaking of school, around three weeks are left. When it'll officially be a week the countdown to school begins. A part of me wants to get back but a part of me is still holding back and doesn't wanna give in. It's like two different people are having a war inside my body to take over...

Oh well, let's hope everything turns up well. And now I think I'll be going to get a breath full of free air out by the lake - it's sure been a while since I've gone out.

~M

Shikyu Corner

Day: August 15/10

Eating: nothing, cause I'm so full from all the chocolates....
Listening To: Hello Seatle by Owl City

Mood: calm, but a little anxious

Whistea: Woho, we finally get to kick off a blog post! Yaay! ^o^

Rowanne: Yeah, and you're happy and peppy as always....

Whistea: Oh come on twinnie, this is the first time we get to have such an opportunity. Lighten up!

Rowanne: Meh...

Kaleb: Don't bother Whistea, she's as sour as ever...^^"

Rowanne: Who are you calling sour, raccoon boy? D<

Kaleb: .....*makes a small fireball appear and brun Rowanne*

Rowanne: OW! *rubs her cheek*

Dali: *pops in through a warphole* You're as sour as ever Ro, and I agree with your sis.

Rowanne: Fine, bully me, gang up on me for all I care

Calliope: *pokes her from behind*

Rowanne: *screams out* Ack, Calliope, STOP DOING THAT!

Calliope: .........Hehehe............^^

Rowanne: You're such a baka neko...

Calliope: *prepares some spikes*

Rowanne: Okay, I take that back....*steps away slowly*

Whistea: *makes some tea* You guys always fight - can't we have at least one normal conversation without one of you fighting over something?

Calliope: *swishes tail and sits down*.......I'm not the baby here......

Dali: *plays around with the pocket watch* It's getting quite late you know...

Rowanne: *lightbulb appears on top of her head* Dali, change the time back!

Dali: ........Why.......? *looks at her suspiciously*

Rowanne: To make none of this happen, duh!

Dali: ......But I don't wanna.....

Rowanne: *reaches for his pocket watch* Gimme gimme! I'll turn it back myself!

Whistea: Sis, you'll only get burned, you know...Dali is the only one who can do it - he does have the same power as Riri-san after all.

Rowanne: Oh, you're such a know-it-all

Whistea: Well I DO complete you. And if you continue acting like that I will never never agree to come together with you to form the power of Heart.

Rowanne: *stops* YOU KNOW THAT'S THE ONE THING I WANNA TRY MOST! AND YOU USE IT AGAINST ME!

Kaleb: *takes a slice of cake* Well then like they say clean up your act Ro.

Calliope: .....She never will......*flicks her tail and looks at rowanne with irritation*

Rowanne: Bah, I wish Riri-san would leave you at the Shikyu Return Center.....Maybe someone else would be happy to have you....

Calliope: *eyes flash and vines wrap around Rowanne's neck*

Rowanne: *shoking*

Whistea: Sis! *runs to help her*

Dali: *continues playing with the watch* I had no part in this, so if Riri-san asks leave me out ^^"

Calliope: .....The vines will release her soon......She won't choke....*sips her tea*

Kaleb: *takes a scone* As long as she's unharmed I don't see the problem ^^

Me: *watches it all from the side* O.e" *twitches her eye* They never stop, do they...?

~M 

A Clover Each Day...

Day: August 12/10  Eating: bowl of cinammon-apple oatmeal

Listening To: Fireflies by Owl City

Mood: a little screwed up..

Okay, so it's probably not a secret that I've been feeling emotionally stressed these past few days. Or maybe some people don't know that...Anyways, to keep things short and sweet, yes, I've been under some difficult times. Not to mention my 'New Post' editor has been acting up on me which is irritating me cause it makes huge gaps between the writing if I wanna create just a small paragraph. If anyone knows how to fix this, this glitch please lemme know - I can't put pictures to the side now like I did normally without running into issues with the spacing. Ugh, why is everything so, so....just forget it.

Ahem, so, I've been asked by a number of people (you probably guess by now who they are): "What have you been doing?" Well, hum, lemme think.......NOTHING. Well, I'll be honest with myself I did some painting, a little reading, mostly listened to music....I've been mostly in the DS lately.

Oh, and, found out my crush has a girlfriend who's 4 years older than him. Yaay, I think I like a total idiot XP. No seriously, everything's taken such a weird turn it's not even funny. I wish I could just be chained into my book and live in there - everything is so much happier there.

Oh and I actually came up with a possible ending for my book - not that bad I gotta admit but not sure if it would be satisfying. I feel like a moron lately! Peoples help me! this isn't normal! ><

Ah, on the other hand, my last Shikyu, Dali the Clockwork Rabbit, should be coming soon, so then you'll get to chat with all five of my Shikyus. Rowanne's been a little happier though I gotta admit, and Whistea is feeling better after her recent little 'depression'. Calliope and Kaleb are okay and happy like normal, though Calli has been fighting hard in the Colliseum. Whistea gave up and Rowanne is only beginning while Calliope is ending her battle very soon. Ah Rowanne, hurry up and fight before the first round ends this week!

Ah, so this is just a short random entry, to file out all my thoughts. Please don't think I'm a nutjob though -I'm truly having a hard time lately, so PICK ON ME AND YOU WILL VERY SURELY REGRET IT? Okies...? ^-^ Don't turn me into an evil little witch cause we both know angry me+you=big fight.

I sure hope me dreams would calm down a little though - I'm beginning to feel a little scared from them....Now I only have my best friend to rely on...TT^TT *glomps her over the distance*

Nighty night, and I'm so lazy these past two days I will try so hard to post a story on my other blog tomorrow!

~M

Iris Garden Blog

Day: August 9/10

Eating: nothing but craving something sweet

Listening To: Pictures of You by The Last Goodnight

Mood: Tiered, drowsy, dreamy

Okay, a new day, and, as I had promised, this post will be dedicated to talking about my new blog. But before I start...*yawns* There, I got that out. I woke up at 7am today even though I was still dead tiered from yesterday. Why do I do such things sometimes, I dunno. So now I feel drowsy (thank god my reality swing is now gone - I can focus again without hating everything around me and feeling like I will choke in the next instant) but still, that will not stop me from blogging on here, and editing my new blog which, might I add, is under construction at the moment but should begin to function very soon.

So, as you probably guessed from the title, the blog is called Iris Garden, because I love irises the most of all flowers and because it's one of the few things that can relax me and even make me fall calmly asleep. I found a perfect blog layout which I think fits really well, so I'll be using it for the blog. There you can find links, a profile, and other stuff I don't have here so do take a look if you are interested.

I'll be starting out with simply posting short stories. If things go well and everyone enjoys reading my blog then I will maybe think about trying to post chapters from one of my books (I have started about 5 but am currently only progressing on one...XP). I would do it though for my friend Lissa-chan, because I'm sure she's look forward to it. My archives will have every single post in there, so please be sure to check it out also.

So yeah, I think that pretty much covers the whole thing...*sighs lightly* Ah, so starting tomorrow I will try posting short stories. Trust me, I have a lot, so please do be patient with me on that. I will label parts and all the accoarding things so that it will be clear what part number you are reading, if it's the end of the series, and all that stuff. I want to make it as organized as possible. Also, in the Shoutbox please do leave your opinions on the stories and any insighful comments - I love browsing through them; makes me feel like people care about my work TT^TT

And now I officially have two blogs to managa XD I'm sure I'll be up for the challenge though, and I can always take a break from one of them at any time.

So now I'll start searching through my folders and binders to find stories to post. Do check by for updates!

~M 

Exausted Happiness

Day: August 8/10   Eating: chocolate fudge ice cream

Listening To: Nothing - too tiered for anything...

Mood: Tiered, happy

Oh gosh, today was so tiering! I swear for a first wedding in my life I'm happy, for the lack of a better word. Everything was so much fun and so exciting (although it good very hot in the beginning when we were taking photos outside) but oh well, you can't have absolutely everything going exactly your way. Then when it got to celebrating it was so much fun I literally was falling over my own feet by the end!

My brother was surprisingly good today (gosh he's such a cutie in public but so....so...bleh, at home...) so that's good. As I said before the groom is my dad's close friend and my lil bro's godfaher, so we're all really tight, plus the bride too. Though there were some people gossiping behind my back, I could feel it. Gosh why is it that wherever I go I always cause such a racket....? Meh, never mind - you can't have absolutely everything going your way, right?

So, I'm planning on going off to bed earlier today - too tiered to do much, so this blog post will be relatively short compared to all the other blog posts that I have done.

Oh, forgot to mention, I am now planning on creating a seperate blog that will house all of my short stories and I am even planning on maybe posting parts of my books there in the future. All details on this will be in the next blog post (which will most likely be tomorrow). I have a few things planned out, such as that I have found a template that I like and I think I found the perfect name for the blog too, but I won't leak out any more details - everything will be in the next blog post so there, now you have something to look forward to.

And now I am off to chill a bit and then gonna take a nice cold bath and go off to bed. Hope the Sanctuary maintanance will be finished tomorrow so I can spend some more time on there.

~M     

New Shikyu

Day: August 7/10

Eating: drinking a glass of fizzy lemonade

Listening To: nothing at the moment

Mood: bored and a little dull

Now before I go and begin to talk about my Shikyus I wanna wish my lil bro a happy b-day. His present was a large table with a train set that linked together. He loves it so much. We're gonna go have the cake soon - triple chocolate with extra frosting and biscuit layers. Yum! ^^

Now I had wanted to write this entry before about my new Shikyu but I never got the chance (I was really lazy, and as much as I wanted to blog more often I was still feeling very lazy). Now though that I have the time, lemme introduce to you my new Shikyu and I finally have the time to have a normal conversation with my other three....=.=

~~~

Kaleb: Hello *waves slightly. Nice to meet you all. It's so nice to finally be adopted into such a caring home TT^TT

Rowanne: Yuppie, another softie in the group...

Calliope: *sips her tea*....I for one am happy to finally have a boy Shikyu amongst us....Maybe now we'll have peace and order around....*sighs*

Rowanne: *turns to Calliope* Hey! You're not a holy dandelion yourself!

Whistea: *wakes up from all the comotion caused by Calliope and Rowanne* Twinnie, can't you at least lemme have some sleep on a Saturday? It's bad enough that Riri-san is all sleepy and drowsy but you're argueing right from the start too...

Rowanne: Well accuse that guy of starting it all! ><*

Kaleb: *radiates a dark aura* You do know, that as the duke of the dark court I don't tolerate being accused of something I had no participatio in whatsoever....

Whistea: *shaking a little* Nee Ro, let's not anger him. He's more dark then you. I wonder what part of riri-san's personality he got....O.o

Calliope: *puts the teacup down*....Judging by his words then the cold calm side....Plus her killer instinct....

Whistea: I never knew she had that in her...O.O"

Rowanne: Instinct shminstict. I don't care what that raccoon boy says - he ain't scary at all! XP

Kaleb: *creates a ball of black fire*

Whistea: Um, sis, I suggest you run...

Rowanne: *sees the orb, and begins to run*

Calliope: *waves her hand and summons a venus flytrap that gobbles up Rowanne*...That's the way I roll...^^ *looks at Kaleb*...You can relax now...Tweetle Dumb will be taking some time to get out of there...

Kaleb: *sits down at the table and takes a scone*

Rowanne: *suffocating in the flytrap*

Whistea: Eh...^^"

Me: *walks in* So, are you guys getting along well?

Kaleb: Very ^^ *reaches for a teaspoon and a slice of cake*

Whistea: Ehe....*sweatdrop*

Me: So I guess you're now willing to accept that Kaleb will officially be living with us from now on, and he will not be leaving the family. EVER.

Rowanne: *from inside the flytrap* WHAT!?

Me: Oh come on, it'll be fun Ro *opens up the flytrap*

Kaleb: Yay, so I'm in! ^o^

Rowanne: XP *passes out*

~~~

And so begins the new life of my new Shikyu Kaleb. ^^

Now, if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna go grab a second helping of my brother's birthday cake. Later days! '-~

~M

Fragile Wishes

Day: August 6/10 Eating: apple-filled gingerbread pastries

Listening To: Hajimari No Hito by Suga Shikao

Mood: mellow, a little grey

So the Sanctuary will be under maintinance for the next few days so that means I get a break from the computer, right? Well, not really true. That means.....MORE TIME FOR MANGA READING! ^O^ Lol, I found some good series that I started to read, like Momo, Tegami Bachi, and Zombie-Loan (don't ask why, I have been in a little mood for mysteries/gory adventures lately). Arisa is another series and I can't wait for my favourite mangas like Barajou No Kiss and Stray Love Hearts to be updated with new chapters. Tooyama Ema's new manga KamiKami Kaeshi looks to be very interesting, judging from some of her amazing artwork I've seen (like I said amazing as usual) so I'll be staying tuned for that.

Have a very busy weekend ahead of me - tomorrow is my lil bro's b-day (he's turning 4! Haha, happy birthday! ^^) so I, like usually, will once again pull out my special watercolour paper, my lead pencil, eraser, paintbrushes, paints AND watercolour pencils and sits down to doodle a cute little card for him. I'm beginning to run out of ideas though for creative cards, but I hope my flow won't stop and I'll continue to make great cards that make everyone happy. I remembered of my concept of these animals I called 'Meefas' who are baby blue coloured, have bell-shaped heads with their fur poking in tufts at the bottom, big fluffy ears, smallish bodies but big puffy tails. I think I'll draw a card with one of those cause it's been forever since I've used them anywhere. Hope he likes it. ^^

Then this Sunday I'm going off to a wedding of one of my dad's friends, and he also happens to be my little brother's godfather (what a coinkidink!). It'll be like a normal wedding but I think with russian traditions, cause all of the people there speak russian (even though my family is ukrainian background) but I honestly don't know what to expect. To be honest, ever since I was little I've been paranoid about weddings, thinking how they are the end of the road, though I sometimes wonder if I'll ever have my own wedding when I grow up, or what it'll be like...

Ahem, so, anyways, I dunno why but I miss school. It's not really normal for someone like me who's tortured at school to wanna go back there. Yeah, I have one reason but I don't think it's a very valid one (I keep it to myself, unless you know it already *hint at my best friend who's following this blog*). I also wanna see everyone again and yeah, so that's a few more reasons right there. I hope that this year will be better than last because I've had to put up with so much stupidity I can't even start to describe it. There's also one girl I soooo don't wanna have in my class. I hate her for everything she did to me, and she hates me too. Wish she could get it deep down into her skull.

Oh, and that reminds me, before I go, I had talked to my best friend about my childhood friend John Sudol and how I've been trying to find him for all these years. We were tight friends, to be honest, and have been seperated many years ago. I've been trying to find him but without luck. I talked to my friend yesterday and she suggested we try looking on FB. We found one who could fit him, but after he accepted my friend's friend request and she looked over his profile he turned out to be older than my age, but the John I was friends with was and is my age. Ah, better luck next time. I'm still sure I'll see him one day though, judging from all those dreams I've been having.

And now I'm off to enjoy the nice breeze by the lake!

~M

Blackened Abyss

Day: July 31/10

Eating: drinking a glass of iced green tea
Listening To: Starry Waltz by Kukui

Mood: yearning for the stars

Hm, well, what can I say - today is the last day of July, which means I only got a month and a week before school starts again, and frankly, my lack of inspiration for things has been getting me nowhere.

It's been rather dark and dull here these past few days and I haven't been going out much lately because I've been feeling in pain. I feel trapped lately, like a butterfly in a cage, and no matter how hard I want I can't get out.

My favourite mangas haven't been updated yet and I watched all the new episodes of the anime series that I'm currently watching. If anyone knows any good mangas that they could recomend, PLEASE DO SO ASAP, cause frankly, I'm dieing of boredom.

Well, actually that's not fully true, cause I've been rather hooked on watching detective mysteries lately, such as the 60s (I think it's the 1960s...) American TV series Columbo, the russian version of Sherlock Holmes which was shot some odd 30 years ago I think, the American movie Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downy Junior (oh gosh the movie was sooo good....<3),and of course, my personal favourite, the TV series based on the popular books of Agatha Christie, it's Poirot! With them nearby I won't be bored any time soon

Oh, forgot to mention - I think I found a solution to what the connection between jake and Kai is! YAAAAY!!! d^-^b *does a happy dance* And I think this will sort a number of loopholes I've had cause it makes things simpler but at the same time makes the plot more interesting I think and more complex.

So, that's all for now. You'll be hearing from me now in August, but till then, I've got a book to work on, not only cause I wanna try publishing it but also cause a friend of mine today said she really wants to read at least a little bit of it. So for her and for everyone who's anxiously awaiting to find out more bout my book, I'll be trying to continue to write.

Later days! ^-~

~M

Red Demon

Day: July 30, 2010

Eating: nothing but I'm starved.....XP

Listening To: Pictures of You by The Last Goodnight

Mood: Frustrated >o<*

Okay, this is so definately not working out the way I want things to go....So, I've been thinking...if anyone does read my blog, maybe you guys could help a little bit? I'm so seriously stuck on this book but deep inside I want to finish it, so, I think maybe by posting a summary I could reread it and then understand how the questions in my previous posts could be answered. Phew, here goes nothing...

~

Basically, the book titles gives a hint to what the story is about. The main protagonist is a girl named Christine Hartes, who is branded as a carefree loner at school but at the same time a smart and talented one too. Her closest friend is a girl named Skye Geraldo, whom she trusts like her own sister, and for some time they have both had a crush on the same guy - Miles Greever. He's popular, funny, and accoarding to Skye totally into Christine. Too bad he makes too many cold jokes to truly show it.

Christine tries to bear with things as best as she can but sudden dreams of two boys begin to haunt her in her sleep, and she begins to sense that maybe paradise isn't so far away after all. It's one normal day that her world finally comes crashing down on her as some boys decide to humiliate in front of everyone. Loosing her cool calm Christine is overwhelmed with rage, yet the emotions give root to a pair of feathered black wings, curled ram's horns, a lion tail and even some claws. It is then that finally she meets Jake, one of the boys she's been having dreams about. Just like her he has wings, though white, and fills her in on her true life, the destiny she was so cruely taken away from.

That doesn't however fit into the plans of a certain someone, as Christine is attacked by the other boy, Kai, also with wings, this time grey, that wishes for her death. It's only after a quick save from Jake that Christine travels through a mirror portal to the world of Reilmore, made up of 3 races: Alphas, the winged race; Halums, the spirit race; and Feruns, the immortal race. Christine is a Hybrid Alpha, since only she has horns and tails, and because of her mix of both worlds she can't stay in one of the world for longer that 3 weeks, now that her true powers have been awakened inside.

Christine continues to go between the two worlds, trying to cope with her life while avoiding close attacks by Kai who continues following in her foot. There is a rule: an inhabitant of Reilmore can only enter the mortal world as long as another inhabitant of Reilmore is already there, and Christine's presence in that world brings her danger, and forces Jake to keep returning to her and protecting her from the blood-thirsty Kai.

It is after much convincing that Jake tells Christine about her past. She is the sole heir to the throne of Reilmore, to govern all three races as the superior Alpha. She became an orphan at an early age of 5, and one day met Jake on the streets, beaten up and hungry to death. She took him in and taking a liking to him became close friends with him. A few years had passed and just as Christine and Jake were beginning their happiness humans discovered the world, and took Christine as a lab rat. They tested her out, since she was the most important creature in the world, and as a result had overdosed her with other DNA which had resulted to her horns and tail. The result scared the scientists which erased it from all records, and trashed the poor girl for her death. It was only thanks to a boy that she was sent to the human world where she would be safe. She didn't remember who he was, only his golden aura and smile. Christine then understands - Jake has loved her, ever since the day he was saved and taken into care to the palace, and she feels like she hurt him by loving Miles.

Jake explains to her the most important fact though - she has to exist in only one world. If she doesn't and continues to be an incomplete being she'll have to wander between both worlds until she is either killed in one of them or her shade shrinks and she'll disappear. Christine continues to travel between the two worlds and understands that those who had hated her before are now beginning to see her differently, and doubt enters her mind. She is no longer sure whether to stay in this world she had once thought of as cruel, or go to the new world where everything she could possibly want will be there.

And it is then that through a twisted tail of events that Christine discovers that Jake's past is a blank page, and that there is a bigger chain connecting Jake and Kai than she had thought. And things begin to get more complicated as Jake's sudden worries and Kai's viciousness begin to unravel, and soon, Christine begins to wonder if things will ever change.

~

So, this is the summary of the book before the spoilers and loopholes appear. Maybe this will help me sort things out...

Oh, and the picture above I chose becuase it looks almost exactly the way I pictures Christine to be in her Hybrid Alpha form (however there is no tail and claws on the girl in the picture, and the colour of her eyes and hair differ). Plus, it's a stunning piece too, made by my favourite DeviantART artist, Nefis.

And now I must go continue writing this book.

~M

Playful Days

Day: July 28/10 Eating: cherries

Listening To: Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

Mood: pumped

Don't let the song choice fool you, it's for a very specific reason that I'm listening to it. The melody is actually very beautiful, to be honest.

The reason I'm pumped is cause today is working out rather well, and I'm still rather happy from yesterday cause I got so much inspiration for my book and got to write quite a lot.

Half Queen is progressing well so far, but I'm only on Chapter 3, not even 15% into the whole story/book, and already I have 31 pages written. I'm no longer sure if writing a lot/detailed is a good thing, cause it's something I always do and I'm not sure if it's a good trait or not.

There is one thing however that just has me baning my head against the wall, and that is some loopholes later on in the story. Yeah, so Christina, the Hybrid Alpha, has to go between the two worlds so she's not killed by Kai, who hates her and wants to kill her, but there are details that I can't sort out.

1) How did she get to the human world?

2) Will Kai turn out to be related to her?

3) Will Jake turn out to be related to her?

4) What happened to her parents? (Well, accoarding to my thoughts right now she was an orphan from an early age but how did her parents die/thing like that?)

5) WHO THE HECK WILL SHE CHOOSE IN THE END!? Miles, in the human world, or Jake, the fantasy world of Reilmore?

Ugh I swear if I don't sort out these details my whole book will have loopholes. Maybe that's what editors are for which then means I'll be needing a good editor later on but I do have to come up with a solid plot. Gah, I curse it when I have such holes in my creativity! *walks up to a wall and smacks her head on it*

If anyone by any chance has any ideas on anything that they had read in books before and stuff, PLEASE LEMME KNOW! I'm dieing here without inspiration! I can't finish a book without fully writing it in my head...TT^TT

*sniffs* Oh well, I'll work on the things I can right now and then probably try sorting those things out when I start coming close to that part in the plot. Maybe that'll work...

~M

Naughty Little Angel

Day: July 26/10 Eating: nothing but I'm getting hungry...XP

Listening To: Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects

Mood: sweet yet devilish

Another slow summer day...Ah I'm getting so fed up in these four walls....Not like I have somewhere better to go though, so I guess I'll put up with this for a while longer.

Went to the library today (woohoo!!! d^-^b) and got myself some more books to read so I can kill some more time. Right now, after about 80 pages into Devoured by Amanda Marrone I'm getting interesting in what kinda turn the story will take (hope not a suckish one or else I'll show no mercy and toss the book across the room).

What else happened...? Well, watched some more TV, played with my little brother a little, you know, usual routines. Couldn't be on at the time peak in the Sanctuary cause I was at the library at the time but oh well - can't get everything you want right?

Which also reminds me - read Full Dark's blog today. Happy that Full Dark and I became friends but still worried for her. Why does everyone piss her off so much? Wish I could help her stick em into place. Beh, I'll have to deal with the same things at school in September - too many bakas in my grade....XP

Events have been unraveling rather quickly, I mean the way Full dark is planning to step down from her rank, how Kirin-chan and I have been feeling lonely now a days...it's all too fast. I'm being sucked into the cyber world, fast, and if I don't pull out soon, I think I'll lose myself in it. It's not normal anymore how I'm replacing it with reality.

Meh why is life so complicated? What I'd give to try living in the cyber world for my whole life, to be carefree and not worry about what people think or say, about this stupid thing called money? Why are things so unfair?

.....................After all these questions, I have a sudden urge to let my frustration out.............Now if you'll excuse me................*jumps on her bed and starts punching her pillows* Stupid stupid world! XP

Calliope: ............Please don't mind Riri-san, she's just having another one of her little......'reality swings'..............

Rowanne: She should really rethink visiting a doctor, hehehe ^^

Whistea: *smacks Rowanne on the head with her scepter* Watch what you say - our mistress is just having a tough time, that's all. And you should learn to be more human and sensitive

Ah, my Shikyus.....I can always count on them. ^^

~M

Story of Evil ~ Cherry Stained

Day: July 25/10

Eating: nothing but I wanna have a cup of tea so badly...TT^TT

Listening To: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

Mood: concerned, playful and bubbly

Okay, so you must've noticed my new bloggie layout by now. All credits go to my friend nevey for making this amazing layout! I couldn't have made such an amazing blog layout by myself so thank you times a million! ^O^

Ah, it's almost the end of July, and then it's only August and a few days of September before I'm off to school and have to once again work my butt off and dealing with all the hardships of school.

How I hate when I make plans for summer and nothing turns out the way I wanted for it to be.

Actually, I've had a pleasent surprise just a few nights ago when I went shopping and found such an awesome dress that I bought it. Nothing super fancy that I'd wear for grad but I simply love it. It's Lady Pink coloured and I think silk cotton. So soft and stretchy....I wanna wear it to Quebec next year.

Still gotta pick out a grad dress though, and I've got my eyes on one that I think will be perfect. Trying to find it in Toronto and not sure if the American site I found it on will ship to Canada.

Now, the thing that worries me most - my book. Ah, I can't say I didn't do any work on it, I mean I got past a few rough edges I've had with it but I still have a looooooong way to go to finish writing it. I'm currently on page 28 on MicrosoftWord and trying to write at least a little everyday. So far that's not working out a time is slipping out of my hands.

Speaking of time it's been over a month since I joined the Himuro doll family! Yaaay! ^^ *does a little dance* Sadly Mi-chama is on Hiatus because she has a school trip and said she will be gone for half a month or so. It's been almost 3 weeks since she announced it. Can't wait till she gets back, and just kinda saying I hope I can get an elite rank this year, well, at least I'm working towards achieving that goal. Right now though I'm just a happy Puppet of the family.

Kirin-chan has been down lately - fights and emotional stress so I'm trying to help her. But I've been feeling more lonely and can't put the feeling away, and even right now when I'm talking to her the feeling still lingers. It mostly happens when I see two people, two dolls in the Sanctuary, and that feeling arises. It's almost like I'm back in real life and feeling the same way like normally, the feeling I want to escape and one of the reasons why I decided to join the Sanctuary.

Well I'm being all whiney right now, so I think that's all for now. I should go change my act a little right now and stop feeling so down. I've still got more summer ahead and things can always change in the near future. Right now though, I'm not in the best mood because I'm in a way angry with myself.

Yup, this is a story of evil, but it's cherry stained with the emotions of mine that I can't hide. When will this evil quite lurking, if it ever will...?

~M

Poisoned Sugarpuff

Day: Tuesday, July 20/10

Eating: more like choking on cocoa waffers

Listening To: Dance Inside by The All-American Rejects

Mood: indifferent, creative

You think you could get away with things so easily, didn't you? Well lemme guess, you were surprised to find something else coming your way, right? How long were you planning to toy along with me? Be warned - I can be happy and peppy but if you cross my path when I'm in rage or feeling strange, this little sugarpuff will become poisonous, and you don't wanna choke on me, do ya?

Hum, just play your little games somewhere else - stop using me for a target. You say I'm different? How? In what way? That I take your pranks and jokes differently, that I'm more fun to toy with? Bleh I hate people like you....baka baka baka and a million more times baka!

Fufufu, but since you decided to start this, then lets play. I'm good at games, even a champion at some, so this one should be cake. Let's start a game, but this one has no safe spots, no T-Os, so we play endlessly in a closed circle. You ready to see this caterpillar shed it's skin and come out a butterfly? Be warned though - not everything in life's beautiful - most are at the same time deadly, and i'm just dripping with poison...hehehe....

(Sorry for the random post; had to vent all these emotions out but I'll be my normal self very soon once again, PROMISE)

KH Craziness and DS Confusion

Day: Thursday, July 15/10

Eating: nothing at the moment

Listening To: Sanctuary by Utada

Mood: crazed yet relaxed

Okay, so this time around I'll be focusing on two topics - my sudden and strong KH (Kingdom Hearts for those who don't know) addiction and about the confusion I have regarding the dear Doll Sanctuary. Before I start, please let me get this out of my system.......GYA!!!! *runs around the room like crazy* Sorry, I've been feeling unlike myself these past few days and just want this whole feeling gone before I scare someone off. *Takes a deep breath* Okies, now I'm ready to continue on with the rest of the post.

~

My KH Craziness:

Okay, now I really don't know why my KH craziness started up (again) but I think I'll blame the fact that I've picked up the only KH game I own (358/2 Days) and started watching all the movies in Theatre Mode and listening to the songs on rewind on YouTube. Ugh, I curse the fact I don't own a PS2 - I soooo wanna play the first two games.....*sulks in the corner*

When I say craziness I mean craziness - the music playing on replay in my mind, the characters jumping around in my mind, making up their own stories, I think I'm official going to go nuts....=.= Then I'm fueled up by the fact that there's gonna be a game on PSP this autumn so I'm all hyped up for that and when I read there's a game on the future NintendoDS 3D and ONLY on it and not the regular DS just makes me burst. It's called KH 3D and it features Sora and Riku and Kairi, the characetrs I haven't experienced play with since I didn't play the first two games. I'm thinking of testing it out on my regular DS to see if it will work when it comes out. Of course if it doesn't, well, I hope I could get my money back....

Mostly I've thought bout Kairi and how much I wanna cosplay her. I think I have what it takes but not sure I'll make a good Kairi version...probably cause of my features...(don't wanna start talking about my face right now)

Uh, I curse my random addictions when I have them, but the KH addiction is long and periodic, so we'll see how long it lasts. I hope not for long cause my mom will start asking questions about why I'm like this.

~

Sanctuary Confusion:

So for this one I don't blame anyone, just my brain that can be so messed up at times. The main reason for my confusion though is Full Dark and Loki-kun's fight. I'm not pointing to sides but just hope this whole thing gets sorted through. I mean I understand Full Dark and her position, I wouldn't question her, and Loki is very determined about this and has a right for his thoughts but it's just not right. Especially after reading Full Dark's blog post from today how she's saying she is now the former Full Dark Jester makes me feel so....distraight...for the lack of a simpler word. I wish she'd stay, I honestly wish she would. But everyone's entitled to their opinion so I gotta accept that and not be like some little child that grabs on to her friends and doesn't let them go.

Don't know who started this fight, don't know who'll end it, don't even know what it's about. Everyone's telling Loki to not quit and for Full Dark to not stress out and ignore this (at least from what I've read) If Full Dark quits, the Himuro family loses one of it's important and gotta say one of the greatest dolls I know. Call me weird, softie or whatever, but this is what I think. She has all the right in the world.

And on a side note Mi-chama is on vacation...for half a month...gonna miss her. Kyrie-san is now in charge of the family for the time along with G-sama and Angel-sama. Hope I don't cause them trouble...^^"

I think I'll go feed my addiction some more right now. There's nothing more for me to say anyways. *hops around the room and acts like an idiot* Oh, don't mind me, I'm done with my post. Go on, go do something else, there's nothing more for you to read. *grabs a popsicle* You're still reading aren't you...? Ah, nothing more to do, or just curious if I'll pull off a trick...? *walks off* I told you I was done with my post. XP

~M