White Iris

Day: September 14/10

Eating: layered waffer cake

Listening To: The Only Exception by Paramore

Mood: light, free, careless

This little blizzard inside of me is suddenly and surprisingly growing into a pleasant feeling. I never though something that began as something so depressing could turn into something so free, so pleasant. I've been in the midst of many fights lately, most among my friends or those people who aren't in my class but I still look over at, and I've been feeling isolated because of that. I mean my best friend is trying to keep a stalker jerk away from her while another friend of mine is hanging around that same stalker jerk. My crush hasn't been noticing me and rumours have slowly been drifting around about me again. But even amongst this seemingly lonely blizzard I'm feeling safe right now, safely guarded from everything and everyone.

I would give everything though, to see two people, two people I hold dear. One whom I have not yet met, but I feel his presence, that sweet smell that lingers lately, and a gentle breeze that passes by like a hushed voice; the one I am destined to meet. The other is one whom I should have forgotten, but hold dear within me. He is still by my side no matter how often I feel that he has left me, my first ever childish love, a memory that still lingers in my mind. It's these two that seperate my roads and make me wonder of how life will change. Yes there are others who I care about, like my close friend, my crush, and others, classmates of mine, but I can't help but feel ties to these two.

Ah, how twisted life is. But I've met so many wonderful people, especially the dolls, who help me see every day that even when I think that life has taken a turn for the worst, it's not fully dark until I give up on everything. I'm grateful to these people, even though I've said this thousands of times I still feel like I haven't said it enough.

It's one day though that I'll have the strength to stand on my own and let everything sink into me. But until that day comes I'll still rely on those people I know. Becoming a doll has showed me how life could be for me, and I met new people I wouldn't have met on the other side of this globe. My classmates, my friends, even my enemies - who, though I hate, still teach me things - ar blocks of my life. It's like they say, you can't rush to make a jigsaw puzzle until you have all the pieces. I won't rush with mine and take it a step at a time so everything could take it's turn.

'Life's not measured by the number of breaths you take,

but the number of moments that take your breath away'

~M

Crystal Wings

Day: August 19, 2010

Eating: nothing, but frankly, I'm not craving anything either

Listening To: Lost Butterfly by Rurutia

Mood: sooo.....happy.....TT^TT

I HAVE RETURNED MY NORMAL POST EDITOR BACK! *Hallelujah song plays in the background* My stupid blog marked it under 'Old Post Editor' so I changed the settings to the old post editor and now I can finally edit my posts normally again....*tearing up* Ah, that makes me so happy...Let's just hope nothing more crashes on me or that I won't lose the current post editor *hugs it* Mine, you hear me Blogger team peoples, MINE! Take it away and my whole blogging experience will crash!

Ah, no more screwed up spacing, or, or...Ah, it's so good to have you back...

Ahem, so now that my happy phras is over and done with I can get onto some bigger news....I GOT A CELLPHONE!!! *does a happy dance* Hehe, now I can be more independant and whenever mom and I have to go shopping I'll have it to call dad instead of worrying and wondering when he'll pick us up. I like it. Even though it's not one of those new ones with the slide out keyboard made especially for texting I still like it. It's easy to carry and handle.

Hum, what else has happened to me so far...? Well I've been watching more animes and picked up some new mangas. Too many books on hold at the library for me, 95% of which are mangas. LOL, what can I say, I'm a heavy reader.

Haven't made much progress on my book though. That's upsetting me cause I've been wanting to work super hard on it all summer. I had a few more mental images from the book in my head though, but I still can't get to putting it down on paper. What can I say, I'm hell lazy at times.

Everything else has been rather quiet around the Sanctuary. It's almost 2 months since I've been there. Ah, time sure flies. I've been talking a lot to everyone around there, and things have been rather fun. Hope I still can spend time over there when I start school - it'll one heck of a chaos next year after all.

Speaking of school, around three weeks are left. When it'll officially be a week the countdown to school begins. A part of me wants to get back but a part of me is still holding back and doesn't wanna give in. It's like two different people are having a war inside my body to take over...

Oh well, let's hope everything turns up well. And now I think I'll be going to get a breath full of free air out by the lake - it's sure been a while since I've gone out.

~M