Oceanlit Sonata

Day: February 28/11
Eating: nothing - not hungry
Listening To: Fu**ing Perfect by Pink
Mood: screw off all of you scared cowards, I'm just this awesome!

People people people...You just really just can't leave a girl alone now can you? Only my second day on Formspring and I already get a message that says 'Fix your zits'. Please be accurate. It's acne scars. You're killing the language here, at least be accurate with what you say. Geez. The world is suffering cause you can't properly express your thoughts. LMFAO.

Sorry for that really weird intro, but that's the way I felt like starting off. It sucks that people can't keep their opinions to themselves sometimes.
Anyways, on a better note, school is fine overall. People who dislike me keep their opinions to themselves. I'm not being crushed by people and their stupid little thoughts which really don't matter. Although on a little worse note, I'm slipping with homework. GOTTA CATCH UP! But I'm too lazy....Waah. I'm such a lazy ass lately, not even joking.

On another note, there's this one guy who keeps getting into a close friendship zone and things are getting pretty darn awkward. Today one of my friends pushed me and him together and he ended up hurting me badly with his jaw. Now a small part of my upper lip is swollen cause I cut myself with the braces from the impact. Talk about 'Ow moment'. I don't agree with my friends on the idea that he likes me and is planning to ask me out. It would just be pretty weird and that's really like the last thing I want.

It's already March tomorrow. Can't believe it. Feels like just yesterday was the first day of 2011 and now it's already March. It doesn't even feel like 2011, more like an extension of 2010. I kinda wish it was though, because 2010 was one amazing year that I can't complain about. Sure there were ups and downs but it was one interesting year. And I miss some of the moments, even if I can't get them back.

I don't really even know what to say. Gosh, before I felt like there was so much to say and now I'm struggling to think with ideas. There probably isn't anything else I can add. In brief though, a guy is trying to pick me up, I have friends I can rely on for the time, I'm starting to look at my little crush more as a friend than as a romantic kind of way, homework kills, bitches are still lurking, and life's beautiful. So if you like my zits or not I don't give two shits about that - they complete me, and I'm beautiful on the inside, at least I don't rot inside. Phew, this is just awesome to say. I feel so freakin energized that I probably won't be able to sleep now.

You mess with me, you go down. I don't joke. I might not be physically strong but watch it, that gives you no reasons to mess with meh. Capish? Capish.

And now I must go off and sleep, prepare for another long day.

~M

White Iris

Day: September 14/10

Eating: layered waffer cake

Listening To: The Only Exception by Paramore

Mood: light, free, careless

This little blizzard inside of me is suddenly and surprisingly growing into a pleasant feeling. I never though something that began as something so depressing could turn into something so free, so pleasant. I've been in the midst of many fights lately, most among my friends or those people who aren't in my class but I still look over at, and I've been feeling isolated because of that. I mean my best friend is trying to keep a stalker jerk away from her while another friend of mine is hanging around that same stalker jerk. My crush hasn't been noticing me and rumours have slowly been drifting around about me again. But even amongst this seemingly lonely blizzard I'm feeling safe right now, safely guarded from everything and everyone.

I would give everything though, to see two people, two people I hold dear. One whom I have not yet met, but I feel his presence, that sweet smell that lingers lately, and a gentle breeze that passes by like a hushed voice; the one I am destined to meet. The other is one whom I should have forgotten, but hold dear within me. He is still by my side no matter how often I feel that he has left me, my first ever childish love, a memory that still lingers in my mind. It's these two that seperate my roads and make me wonder of how life will change. Yes there are others who I care about, like my close friend, my crush, and others, classmates of mine, but I can't help but feel ties to these two.

Ah, how twisted life is. But I've met so many wonderful people, especially the dolls, who help me see every day that even when I think that life has taken a turn for the worst, it's not fully dark until I give up on everything. I'm grateful to these people, even though I've said this thousands of times I still feel like I haven't said it enough.

It's one day though that I'll have the strength to stand on my own and let everything sink into me. But until that day comes I'll still rely on those people I know. Becoming a doll has showed me how life could be for me, and I met new people I wouldn't have met on the other side of this globe. My classmates, my friends, even my enemies - who, though I hate, still teach me things - ar blocks of my life. It's like they say, you can't rush to make a jigsaw puzzle until you have all the pieces. I won't rush with mine and take it a step at a time so everything could take it's turn.

'Life's not measured by the number of breaths you take,

but the number of moments that take your breath away'

~M