Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Monday, February 28, 2011

Oceanlit Sonata

Day: February 28/11
Eating: nothing - not hungry
Listening To: Fu**ing Perfect by Pink
Mood: screw off all of you scared cowards, I'm just this awesome!

People people people...You just really just can't leave a girl alone now can you? Only my second day on Formspring and I already get a message that says 'Fix your zits'. Please be accurate. It's acne scars. You're killing the language here, at least be accurate with what you say. Geez. The world is suffering cause you can't properly express your thoughts. LMFAO.

Sorry for that really weird intro, but that's the way I felt like starting off. It sucks that people can't keep their opinions to themselves sometimes.
Anyways, on a better note, school is fine overall. People who dislike me keep their opinions to themselves. I'm not being crushed by people and their stupid little thoughts which really don't matter. Although on a little worse note, I'm slipping with homework. GOTTA CATCH UP! But I'm too lazy....Waah. I'm such a lazy ass lately, not even joking.

On another note, there's this one guy who keeps getting into a close friendship zone and things are getting pretty darn awkward. Today one of my friends pushed me and him together and he ended up hurting me badly with his jaw. Now a small part of my upper lip is swollen cause I cut myself with the braces from the impact. Talk about 'Ow moment'. I don't agree with my friends on the idea that he likes me and is planning to ask me out. It would just be pretty weird and that's really like the last thing I want.

It's already March tomorrow. Can't believe it. Feels like just yesterday was the first day of 2011 and now it's already March. It doesn't even feel like 2011, more like an extension of 2010. I kinda wish it was though, because 2010 was one amazing year that I can't complain about. Sure there were ups and downs but it was one interesting year. And I miss some of the moments, even if I can't get them back.

I don't really even know what to say. Gosh, before I felt like there was so much to say and now I'm struggling to think with ideas. There probably isn't anything else I can add. In brief though, a guy is trying to pick me up, I have friends I can rely on for the time, I'm starting to look at my little crush more as a friend than as a romantic kind of way, homework kills, bitches are still lurking, and life's beautiful. So if you like my zits or not I don't give two shits about that - they complete me, and I'm beautiful on the inside, at least I don't rot inside. Phew, this is just awesome to say. I feel so freakin energized that I probably won't be able to sleep now.

You mess with me, you go down. I don't joke. I might not be physically strong but watch it, that gives you no reasons to mess with meh. Capish? Capish.

And now I must go off and sleep, prepare for another long day.

~M

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Obscure Tears

Day: September 23/10
Eating: drinking a cup of tea
Listening To: Arabesque by Rurutia
Mood: drifting, half and half


Gosh I've been so out of blogging lately...=_=
Truth is I've been so caught up with things that I can't even spend a little time to focus on my blog that I've been so attached to. Heck it's the same thing with almost everything that I've cared about - it just feels like I've lost my touch.

School is going by well for the most part, though the pirannah has been acting up a little bit recently, thinking she's so cool and yelling a mocking 'Hi!' out from the school bus window. How I wish her tongue was twisted into knots so she'd leave me alone. How do you get it into people's brains - I. Don't. Want. To. Know. You. That's it. DIDDO. And even if you tell me you hate me too you still continue to whisper behind my back and pay so much attention to me. So I'm not gonna waste any more energy on her. If I have to I'll teach her a fir lesson and go straight up to my teacher but maybe I'll teach her in my own method.

Everything really feels the same and at moments a little obscure, at least for me. I wonder why I have been feeling so confused deep inside, why I can't decide between people, between what I want and what I don't, who I don't like and who I do.
I still wish sometimes that i could cry everything out, just everything that's been building up in me all these years. It's useless, walking around half dead like I've been for so long. I'm stuck between hapinness and sorrow, etween light and dark. What use is it to be a half when you're not complete, when you can't feel alive?

~M