Obscure Tears

Day: September 23/10

Eating: drinking a cup of tea

Listening To: Arabesque by Rurutia

Mood: drifting, half and half

Gosh I've been so out of blogging lately...=_=

Truth is I've been so caught up with things that I can't even spend a little time to focus on my blog that I've been so attached to. Heck it's the same thing with almost everything that I've cared about - it just feels like I've lost my touch.

School is going by well for the most part, though the pirannah has been acting up a little bit recently, thinking she's so cool and yelling a mocking 'Hi!' out from the school bus window. How I wish her tongue was twisted into knots so she'd leave me alone. How do you get it into people's brains - I. Don't. Want. To. Know. You. That's it. DIDDO. And even if you tell me you hate me too you still continue to whisper behind my back and pay so much attention to me. So I'm not gonna waste any more energy on her. If I have to I'll teach her a fir lesson and go straight up to my teacher but maybe I'll teach her in my own method.

Everything really feels the same and at moments a little obscure, at least for me. I wonder why I have been feeling so confused deep inside, why I can't decide between people, between what I want and what I don't, who I don't like and who I do.

I still wish sometimes that i could cry everything out, just everything that's been building up in me all these years. It's useless, walking around half dead like I've been for so long. I'm stuck between hapinness and sorrow, etween light and dark. What use is it to be a half when you're not complete, when you can't feel alive?

~M