Staircase to Heaven

Day: September 9/10

Eating: cherry strudel

Listening To: Halo by Beyonce

Mood: broken down

Honestly I don't even know what to feel anymore. Don't get me wrong - I'm not going emo or anything but the faster my brain is rushing on things, like it is lately, the faster I run out of juice. Things so aren't going easy, that I know for sure. Grade 8 has proven to be a greater challenge than I had thought it was, and in a number of points I underestimated it.

I've managed to regain my confidence when I look at who are concidered the 'popular people' because right now, I don't feel that I'm, if that much worse, that different from them, particularly one girl who I always worry about and try comparing myself to (let's see how good you are at guessing this Sof ^^). But now I don't really think that way. I see myself as different from everyone, yes, but in some aspects uncomparable. So it hasn't been bothering me so strongly as before.

The greatest problem is however is the emotional rollercoaster that's been going on non-stop these past few days since I've come to school. Okay, seriously, can someone calm that guy down!? He's not acting normal I swear. If he puts another toe in the same direction he's been heading for the past while then I wish him luck surviving my anger, cause I'll tell him off for two years, and trust me, that's a lot of ranting!

On the bright side I'm feeling a little easier in regards to my feelings. Looks like my emotions for my crush have frozen down a little so I've maintained a basicly calm nature lately, which is good. The other guy....well I'm calm about him too. I don't wanna have any feelings for either of them stirring up before the next coming dance. That's when I normally become soft and nerve wrecked.

And now I'm off to have another cup of warm orange peacoy tea that will officially calm down my thoughts and hopefully tomorrow will follow in another one of the peaceful patterns I've been having lately. I'm not in the mood for much adventure lately, so let's hope it's avoided.

~M