Sakura Kiss

Day: January 16/11

Eating: nothing

Listening To: Mine, Yours by Luka Megurine (Vocaloid)

Mood: meh...piggyback, piggyback, piggyback!!

And once again, it's been over a month since I've last blogged. I hate how things manage to catch up with me and distract me along the way. So freakin annoying...

But I gotta admit, my life has been very much like a rollercoaster for this past long while, and it.s not that easy, trying to sort out things while keeping up with your hobbies and other things you are doing.

So, now to catch up on over a month's time.

It's been over a month since I've become a Deck Sister of Diamond. It's a lot of fun, welcoming the others in the Game Room, seeing my sisters around (though Heart is a brat like always..), Spade is kinda quiet like always, curled with a book, and Clover hasn't really been coming around much (maybe I should drop by her Restaraunt..?)

The rest of the Sanctuary is full of life as usual, more Newborns coming in, others applying, and the other dolls having fun together. The Amakura Dragon Festival went by as well. Not that I dropped by a lot in it....

But things are pretty much like normally.

At school though, now that's where the mine field starts.

I hate that even in my last year knowing all the people I know such a, a...moronic incident. There is no other word to describe it, other than it is a triangle of selfishness and lust between me, my former crush (and ex, well, if you wana be REALLY technical) and the girl who I've been very close with like a sister. It's stupid to go poking fingers, saying who did what wrong and all so I won't do that. All I can say is that this all better sort out because Friday, at our Ukrainian Christmas Malanka dance, it was just a nightmare.

No one understands me anymore. Heck, no one ever did. I feel like a little girl, walking up to a group of adults who are busy talking and laughing, then I pull on their sleeves and they say 'Not now dear, wait for us to finish'

That's about the worst feeling someone can have, especially when they're in the company of people who they considered their friends.

I'm not mad at anyone, but things are going for the worst. I can't stay with someone anymore without knowing that any second something could inturupt and everything flies off to the wind.

I'm tired. It just makes everything so pointless, all the effort to be happy goes to waste. Everything you try to build up, this sugary frosted world, comes crashing down on you. People are divided, and it just turns into a breathing nightmare. This is why most of last year I had so hated going to school, and at the beginning of this year when I was happy going to school, I had hoped that last year would never repeat itself.

And to be honest, it didn't, no - things just got a lot WORSE.

At least on here I can post and write what I really feel deep inside, and not worry that people will strangle me, call me a selfish bitch, or some other annoying revelation. Because if that's all they can come up with, then originality has just flown out the window in the world.

I need to find another way of distracting myself, and as soon as school finishes in June, after summer, when I might be able to still talk to the people I knew, it's better that starting in high school in September I forget about them, because memories of the past just linger and dig up old wounds I'd want to forget.

~M

PS: Sof, if you read this, either way, sooner or later, it doesn't matter, I just want to ask you - don't tell me you read this. Please just keep it to yourself, as well as any thoughts you have after reading this blog post.

Because I have to be fair and spill my own thoughts at least somewhere, and only you know about this blog, so at least I'm happy the whole grade won't see this.

Story of Evil ~ Cherry Stained

Day: July 25/10

Eating: nothing but I wanna have a cup of tea so badly...TT^TT

Listening To: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

Mood: concerned, playful and bubbly

Okay, so you must've noticed my new bloggie layout by now. All credits go to my friend nevey for making this amazing layout! I couldn't have made such an amazing blog layout by myself so thank you times a million! ^O^

Ah, it's almost the end of July, and then it's only August and a few days of September before I'm off to school and have to once again work my butt off and dealing with all the hardships of school.

How I hate when I make plans for summer and nothing turns out the way I wanted for it to be.

Actually, I've had a pleasent surprise just a few nights ago when I went shopping and found such an awesome dress that I bought it. Nothing super fancy that I'd wear for grad but I simply love it. It's Lady Pink coloured and I think silk cotton. So soft and stretchy....I wanna wear it to Quebec next year.

Still gotta pick out a grad dress though, and I've got my eyes on one that I think will be perfect. Trying to find it in Toronto and not sure if the American site I found it on will ship to Canada.

Now, the thing that worries me most - my book. Ah, I can't say I didn't do any work on it, I mean I got past a few rough edges I've had with it but I still have a looooooong way to go to finish writing it. I'm currently on page 28 on MicrosoftWord and trying to write at least a little everyday. So far that's not working out a time is slipping out of my hands.

Speaking of time it's been over a month since I joined the Himuro doll family! Yaaay! ^^ *does a little dance* Sadly Mi-chama is on Hiatus because she has a school trip and said she will be gone for half a month or so. It's been almost 3 weeks since she announced it. Can't wait till she gets back, and just kinda saying I hope I can get an elite rank this year, well, at least I'm working towards achieving that goal. Right now though I'm just a happy Puppet of the family.

Kirin-chan has been down lately - fights and emotional stress so I'm trying to help her. But I've been feeling more lonely and can't put the feeling away, and even right now when I'm talking to her the feeling still lingers. It mostly happens when I see two people, two dolls in the Sanctuary, and that feeling arises. It's almost like I'm back in real life and feeling the same way like normally, the feeling I want to escape and one of the reasons why I decided to join the Sanctuary.

Well I'm being all whiney right now, so I think that's all for now. I should go change my act a little right now and stop feeling so down. I've still got more summer ahead and things can always change in the near future. Right now though, I'm not in the best mood because I'm in a way angry with myself.

Yup, this is a story of evil, but it's cherry stained with the emotions of mine that I can't hide. When will this evil quite lurking, if it ever will...?

~M